In the first week of your self-love journey, you took a huge step back in time to dig deep into what has been emotionally holding you back in order to move into a more positive life. As hard as it can be sometimes to look back on your past it also plays a huge significance into who you will become and how you can use that to shape us into a stronger and more positive being.

It is important that you not only learn to accept and let go of your past but you also now look at how you can teach yourself to learn from the mistakes and decisions that you may have made previously.

You must understand that with every mistake you have made in your past there is always a lesson to be learnt. So even though your past is where you have made these mistakes, it is in your present that your learn the lesson and in your future in which you apply the lesson.

In phase one you should be clear on the following three points:

  1. What past emotions/situations are holding you back
  2. The emotions that you need to let go of (Anger/sadness, guilt, regret)
  3. The action you will take to move forward and let go

In phase 2 you will focus on learning from the ‘mistakes’ you feel you may have made in your past. As humans, we naturally hold on to and beat ourselves up about mistakes we have made in the past. If we don’t learn to find the lessons in these ‘mistakes’, we stop ourselves from embracing a positive view on ourself in the future which in the short term, prevents us from achieving complete self-love. 

By allowing yourself to understand what lessons can be learnt from your past you will prevent yourself from creating and repeating these mistakes in the future. By learning from our mistakes we develop wisdom which in the long run, prevents you from making ‘mistakes’ in the future.


  1. Adopting a growth mindset:Firstly lets outline the two types of mindsets you either have:
    A) A fixed mindset where you believe your intelligence and talent will always stay as is or;
    B) A growth mindset where you are focused on growing the talent and intelligence you already have. The moment you choose to reflect back on your past mistakes and vouch to understand the lesson you have learnt from them, you are nurturing your mind into having a growth mindset rather than a fixed.
  2. Understanding your weaknesses: By reflecting back on past events, generally if we see a pattern of mistakes we have made we can then link them to where our weakness lays. For example; when you look at your list of past ‘mistakes’ if you can identify mistakes you have made more than once, you may notice patterns which will allow you to learn and grow.Try to find the link between the situations thus pointing out where your weakness lays. By identifying the link between your weakness, when a similar situation approaches in the future you will be more aware of it, allowing yourself to think twice before acting.
  3. Mistakes teach you who you are: Through your mistakes, you learn more about the person that you are. You learn to understand what triggers you, what your faults and strengths are. In order to learn who you are you must reflect on your mistakes and past situations from a non judgemental point of view. Try challenging your behaviour with questions like ‘Why did I do this?’ ‘What was I trying to achieve from my actions?’
  4. Through your mistakes, you can inspire others:One of my personal favourite lessons i’ve learnt is to use my mistakes in life to inspire others. One of the greatest tools you have in life is to teach others your wisdom and knowledge you have learnt from your own mistakes. For example, in phase 1 of this journey I spoke about the importance of letting go of your past to accept your future. The mistake I made in my past was holding onto the hurt, anger, sadness and regret for too many years, fretting over small things that were holding me back from having self-love towards myself. If I hadn’t taken the initiative to move forward from my own ‘self-hate’ I had towards myself, I wouldn’t be here successfully sharing with your all my own journey. Use your story and the lessons you learn from your mistakes to inspire others. 
  5. Strength:Strength is one of the many keys that we need in order to pull us through life. It is in your darkest moments that you truely understand how strong you really are. One of the easiest ways you can learn how to understand the strength you have gained from those times is by reflecting. Reflect back on your past, the mistakes you have made and the situations you have found yourself in and think of the way’s you pulled through those times. It is important that you acknowledge and praise yourself for this.

So while you may not be able to travel back in time to fix your mistakes, you can make the choice to learn and grow from them. The more you learn, discover and grow into the person you wish to be, the one step closer you are to achieving ultimate self-love within yourself.

So this weeks challenge is to look at your past mistakes as not what defines you but rather what guides you. Spend this week reflecting on what you can learn from your past, make a list and keep reminding yourself WHY you are not who you were or used to be but rather who you will become. Click below to sign up and receive phase 3 of your self love journey next week straight to your inbox!





14 Comments on 5 Powerful lessons you can learn from your mistakes

  1. Chrissy
    October 14, 2017 at 12:22 pm (1 month ago)

    Such good, soul searching words! I love this series!

    • Stephanie Barreca
      October 17, 2017 at 1:03 am (1 month ago)

      Thanks Chrissy! So glad you are enjoying it ! x

  2. Katie
    October 14, 2017 at 2:37 pm (1 month ago)

    I really believe in growth mindsets and have done a lot of research on them. I think it can be so powerful to not only change your mood but your path in life!

    • Stephanie Barreca
      October 17, 2017 at 1:04 am (1 month ago)

      Isn’t it ever! I am with you on that one, a growth mindset is so important for us just in everyday life in general!

  3. Elle
    October 15, 2017 at 1:26 am (1 month ago)

    Love this series! You are amazing 💖

    • Stephanie Barreca
      October 17, 2017 at 1:04 am (1 month ago)

      Thank you! I am so glad you are enjoying it xx

  4. mukta panwar
    October 15, 2017 at 2:49 am (1 month ago)

    Thanks for these lessons…
    I always try to learn something from my mistake…
    This one is awesome..I loved it!
    And I learn so many things❤😘

    • Stephanie Barreca
      October 17, 2017 at 1:10 am (1 month ago)

      you are so amazing! You already have a great mindset the fact that you can learn from your mistakes! This makes you such a strong person! So glad that you loved it xx

  5. Milly
    October 15, 2017 at 5:10 pm (1 month ago)

    This is an awesome post. All your posts are but mistakes teach us a lot of lessons and gives us new strength. I have inspired so many people because of the many mistakes I made and tried to help people learn from me.

    • Stephanie Barreca
      October 17, 2017 at 1:11 am (1 month ago)

      That’s amazing Milly! I love that you have used your mistakes to teach and inspire others! that’s one of my favourite points, good on you! So glad you loved it x

  6. Sarah Surman
    October 16, 2017 at 8:10 am (1 month ago)

    Yes so good !! We often look at our mistakes as our failures, but they are actually learning lessons for the future & make us into who we are – so true ! I love how you’re using what you’ve been through in the past to inspire others as you say as one of your points! Powerful post as usual xo

    • Stephanie Barreca
      October 17, 2017 at 1:11 am (1 month ago)

      So true, but it’s so hard to see them as lessons when we are in them. Always using myself as an example haha, glad yo loved it! As always x

  7. Katie
    October 18, 2017 at 3:45 am (1 month ago)

    I think reflecting on your mistakes and learning from them is so important. I truly do not think you should regret anything and should use your mistakes as lessons. These lessons will help you grow and better as a person. Thanks for sharing these lessons!

  8. Sarah
    October 22, 2017 at 10:55 am (1 month ago)

    A super inspiring article! I definitely think what I perceive as my mistakes have held me back in the past and I am looking forward to embracing them and turning them into something positive x


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