‘In order to become who we are, we must learn who we are.’
 Some of my favourite words spoken by author and speaker Dr Andrea Pennington.

If I asked you today ‘Who are you?’ would you feel completely confident in your response? Would your response be somewhat surface level? For example… ‘My name is Stephanie Barreca, I am 27, I live in Sydney and I am a blogger who writes about ……’

Does that define and give you a clear vision of who I am, or does it sound like someone who in fact isn’t sure of who they are?

If you asked me this question 5 years ago, that most likely would have been my response. If you asked me this same question today, my response would be a lot more in depth. If you want to know who I am, I will tell you exactly the type of person I am because I know who I am. Loving, accepting, confident, grateful, the list goes on. I am at a place where I truly understand what defines me, what my values are and what makes me proud to be me.

Becoming and understanding who we are is like peeling back the layers of an onion, layer upon layer until you slowly but surely reach the core of who you are. We must not confuse who we are with what we have, because the materialistic items we own do not define who we are, they are simply a luxury in our lives.

Before we can understand who we are, we must recognise what we are not.

You are not:

  • The money in your bank account
  • The clothes in your wardrobe
  • The number on the scale
  • The labels on your clothes
  • The makeup on your dresser
  • The job that you have
  • The house that you live in

Ask yourself: 

  • Are my current understanding of beliefs actually what I stand for, or am I simply following what the rest of society is believing in?
  • If someone asked me who I was, would I list the materialistic qualities I possess?
  • If I had no job, no money, no house, no clothes, would I know who I am?

Begin your journey by…

Spending time with yourself: 

The only way we can start to strip back the layers to understand our core is by understanding what makes us excited, happy, confident, strong and compassionate.

How you do this is by spending quality time with yourself. Do the things you want to do to begin your journey of self discovery and understanding. By doing things that push you outside your comfort zone you are allowing yourself to reach new heights within yourself you didn’t know were possible. It’s time to start experimenting with new ground and new beginnings.

Understanding your positive traits: 

No matter who we are, we each have one thing we can identify as a positive trait. By focusing on this positive trait we nurture it into becoming a strength. Once we learn to focus on our positive traits  we will soon learn that they in fact are our strengths and our strengths are a huge part of what defines us. Your strengths are a large part of your qualities!

Become your own best friend: 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. There is a slight stigma in society about putting yourself first, being your own best friend. But what happens when we don’t put ourself first is we stop to rely on ourselves for certain things and we rely on those around us.

In the beginning of my self discovery journey years ago the one thing I struggled with was branching away and focusing on the things I WANTED TO DO rather than the things everyone else wanted to do. Because of this it delayed my journey in discovering what it is in life that I love.

The moment I started to put myself first and try new things was the moment I discovered so much more about myself than I could of imagined. Who knew I loved art? Who knew I hated going to concerts? I stopped following the crowd and started marching to the beat of my own drum. I started to discover talents I didn’t know I had and realised the things that brought me joy and eventually I was blessed with meeting new people along the way.

So if you imagine yourself standing there bare naked, with not a cent to your name, no house, no clothes, none of the items you own now and someone asked you ‘Who are you?’ would you be confident in your answer?

Some useful articles to help you further:

TRUE LOVE: Discover internal love and how you can find it! > HERE

FEAR OF JUDGEMENT: Removing your fear of judgement will help you grow you confidence  in who you are > HERE








18 Comments on Do you know what makes YOU, YOU?

  1. Milly
    September 23, 2017 at 9:47 pm (2 months ago)

    I honestly enjoyed reading this post. Girl! You are so detailed and literally speak personally to some of us like me and I know many others too. So many times, we think we are the money in our bank accounts or lack confidence just cause we need some validation. Or just not appreciating ourselves. Circumstances just push us to the edge and we need help to finding ourselves again and being our own best friend. Thanks for sharing this. 😍😍😍😍

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 24, 2017 at 1:48 am (2 months ago)

      Thank you Milly! You ALWAYS have something wonderful to say! I am so glad you enjoyed it and could take something away from this post! You have such a strong and positive mind! So it’s always a compliment recieving you feedback!

  2. mukta panwar
    September 23, 2017 at 10:42 pm (2 months ago)

    I was waiting for your next article and it is here now… Sometimes I don’t understand that how you so deep with full of confidence. One thing I have noticed that whatever you write, write in a beautiful way..Today the topic is so good and my favorite line is that become your own best friend..I think if we started thinking that we are our own bestie then we solved our 80% problems in our life..Thanks for inspiring us Stephanie..You are so adorable..Love from India..😘😘..Never ever stop writing for us..You inspire many one.. Please visit India someday..

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 24, 2017 at 9:27 am (2 months ago)

      I LOVE That you were waiting for this article to come out! That brings so much joy to my heart, thank you! I write what I have experience and overcome, this is how I can be so deep! Everything I try to teach you girls is thinks I have overcome in life myself. I agree, we need to start looking at ourself rather than relying on our friends! We are our own best friend! I hope that one day I too can come to India! I will never stop writing for as long as people keep reading! Much love xx

  3. Yvette Mystakas
    September 23, 2017 at 11:00 pm (2 months ago)

    Stephanie, you nailed this! I always often see my SELF beyond materialistic possessions. Even my titles. Wife, mother, there is more to that and the is ME.
    Beautifully written, loved reading this piece 💗💗💗💗

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 24, 2017 at 9:28 am (2 months ago)

      I love that you have discovered how to see yourself beyond the materialism items we own! Its SO HARD to do that in society today where we are surrounded by all forms of media telling us that ‘these items will make us beautiful’! Thank you for your wonderful comment!

  4. Jen
    September 23, 2017 at 11:29 pm (2 months ago)

    This is wonderful and such useful advice! I agree, it is so important to know yourself. Your strength and your weaknesses. This is what allows us to grow! Thanks for sharing this Stephanie!

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 24, 2017 at 9:30 am (2 months ago)

      It’s so true, recognising out strengths and our weaknesses allows us to grow! I have learned to accept that not EVERYTHING is my strengths! So glad you enjoyed!

  5. Katie
    September 24, 2017 at 1:03 am (2 months ago)

    This post really spoke to me. I’m currently not in a job situation that I love, but I often shy away from trying something new because I’m afraid I have no other applicable skills. I definitely need to spend some time thinking about who I am and what I want to be.

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 24, 2017 at 9:32 am (2 months ago)

      You know what, you have an amazing passion that is also your portfolio! I use my blog and Instagram as a huge portfolio into what I can create and am capable of, you have exactly this! I don’t know what exactly you do for work but what I do know is you have fantastic creative talent that not many people do! Focus on what you love and let it all fold organically.

  6. Sarah Surman
    September 24, 2017 at 12:35 pm (2 months ago)

    This post reminded me of the many conversations we’ve had with each other in you lounge room! I love how you love every word you have written, such truth steph – we are not defined by what we own and we don’t have to let others influence who we are – we are he only people who can decide who we want to be- I absolutely loved this blog, I agree with every word, so good babe xxxx

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 25, 2017 at 1:34 am (2 months ago)

      Thanks lady! It’s so true! So many conversations like this. Don’t preach it if you don’t live it right?! Naw so glad you loved it! xx

  7. Sarah Surman
    September 24, 2017 at 12:36 pm (2 months ago)

    Sorry typo in the above comment – **i love how you actually LIVE every word you have written, you don’t just talk about it – it’s your reality – so powerful xo

  8. Teya
    September 24, 2017 at 7:44 pm (2 months ago)

    Fantastic piece!!! I agree with every word of it. I have always struggled to answer the “tell us a little bit about you” type questions as I’ve never felt defined by my titles. Next time I’m asked this question I’m going to honour myself by describing my qualities. Thank you.

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 25, 2017 at 1:36 am (2 months ago)

      I love that you can relate to this! It’s so true ‘A little bit about me’ and you will get a novel! It’s like anyones story, you only scratch the surface with that question! Thank you so much for your kind words xxx

  9. Jillian
    September 25, 2017 at 3:43 pm (2 months ago)

    I love this so much. I love the questions you ask because it makes me stop and really reflect. This is something we all need to remember daily!!! You’re so beautiful, inside and out Stephanie. xoxo.

    • Stephanie Barreca
      September 28, 2017 at 12:04 am (2 months ago)

      Thank you!!! So happy that you can take something away from my writing! You’re so sweet, thank you! x

  10. chrissy
    September 29, 2017 at 1:44 am (2 months ago)

    this is such a wonderful post for all people of all ages. thanks for sharing!


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